and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
