I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
