Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
God, I missed his penis.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize