you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
