It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You smell like stripper and shame
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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