Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
