Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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