Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
