come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
