just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
