Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize