On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize