i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
