i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
