We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
