I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am midnight drunk by noon
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
