It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I have aggressive nipples.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
