i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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