Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
