I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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