Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
