kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
