You're my little dorito
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
