Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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