I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
