i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize