Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
