so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
