Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize