She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
