So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
hell yes lets make some ravioli
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Randomize
