everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
