Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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