Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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