Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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