okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
