I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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