I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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