once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
