do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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