I only kidnapped one of them. chill
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
