Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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