Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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