I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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