you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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