You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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