he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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