so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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