I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
