your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just puked most of my soul out..
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