Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
