based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
