i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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