i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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