Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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