The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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