...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My vagina just clenched in fear
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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