He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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