Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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